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May. 4th, 2009 | 02:02 am

Apocalypse and Iron Maiden

"Repent. The End is Near." I always wonder about the old men with their signs, telling us passing patrons that we are sinners in need of saving before JUDGEMENT DAY. I can't help but get a little irritated. It isn't because they are imposing their views on me, because if they really believe these sensational, religious ideas. In their mind, they are trying to help me. You know, I donate to charity to help my fellow (wo)man, but jeez, these guys are trying to save my soul from eternal damnation.  Pretty lofty. I don't believe in God, so the joke is on them.

The real reason is the religious nut-jobs always think the apocalypse is coming in their lifetime. It just keeps getting pushed back by the folks who weren't consumed by fires from above. They reproduce, unfortunately, and happily comes another generation who is convinced the end will really happen before they die. Is your life really so significant you think God will choose that particular 80 or so years to end it all? Its the ultimate egocentrism, really. What about: "Do not have children! The end is eventually coming and it will totally suck for them!"

I like that better.

Anyway, these guys don't realize that the end is already all around us. We have made damn sure of that. The bearded white guy in the sky is not responsible. We are. Short of a huge rock from space smashing into our planet and terminating us dinosaur-style, we're doing a pretty good job ourselves with screwing up the earth. I do not think I need to create a catalog of ills we have done to our home. We know what we are doing. That's the worst part.

On a lighter note. My boyfriend, Todd, doesn't read. He makes art instead. However, when I told him that we were reading 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner,' he got really excited and said, "That's my favorite Iron Maiden song! It's so good!" So the moral of the story: Good literature touches everyone, even when they don't want it to.

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